A Walk through the Grocery Store
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Grocery shopping has never been so much fun. As ever I do not own Criminal Minds


**_Author's Note: Thank you for throwing this plot bunny in my direction, Snoozie. Thank you, Tonnie, for all your assistance. And, thank you, readers, for taking a look! Please drop me a review or PM to let me know what you thought! Thanks! And, as ever, I do not own Criminal Minds._**

As Jennifer Jareau pushed her grocery cart aimlessly through the store, absently adding items to the growing mound, she silently seethed. It had been a hard week for each and every member of the BAU's team. The effects of the strain had shown on each member of their elite team as they had stepped off the jet this afternoon. But, no member had been as angry as she had. Gritting her teeth as she recalled the case, JJ tightened her hands on the cart. An unsub had been raping, torturing and killing blonde haired, blue eyed women in the small little hamlet of Halton,, Colorado. And, instead of using every resource in their arsenal,

i.e. her, David Rossi had convinced their Unit Chief that it would further enrage the unsub to bait him with her. Hotch, in spite of her very loud, very vocal protests, had sided with Rossi. And, the unsub had snatched another victim. They'd gotten to her in time, just barely. But the fact remained, that if they had used the capable agent that they had on their team, that woman would have been saved the trauma she experienced.

And she had made it very clear to Agent Rossi in a private conversation outside his office before leaving was something she laid squarely on his very broad shoulders. He'd been arrogantly dismissive as always and it had enraged her even further. It had only been near the end of their conversation, if you could call her telling him in no uncertain terms what she thought of his decisions regarding this case a conversation, that she realized David Rossi hadn't tried to defend himself in the least. He'd simply stood there, leaning against his office doorframe as she'd vented her spleen. And then the smug bastard had actually smiled at her. Luckily for him, Aaron Hotchner had interrupted with a question before she could do something she'd regret and she'd decided to call it a day before she inflicted bodily damage on the highly irritating, infinitely attractive legendary agent.

Which brought her back to the current moment in the grocery store. She was going to decompress tonight and this weekend if it killed her, damn it! In order to do that, however, she needed to replenish her meager supplies. Adding a scented candle to her cart, JJ glanced down the aisle and stopped dead in her tracks. Because there, standing a few paces away was the object of her wrath and the reason for her need of a decadent weekend spent watching trashy movies and massive amounts of junk food. David Freaking Rossi! Holding a can of coffee.

"You?!" JJ spat, thinking how good David Rossi would look with a grocery cart track running down the center of his forehead.

As if he could read her mind, David slowly advised, "Now, Blondie. Don't do anything you might live to regret."

"My name is Jennifer. Jenn-I- fer…say it with me," she said slowly, as if he were a slow child she needed to guide.

"Then why does the entire team call you JJ?" David asked curiously.

"My friends call me JJ…of which, at present, is a number YOU are definitely not included in!" JJ said, moving the cart to go around him.

Placing a restraining hand at the bottom of the cart to still it's movement, David replied, "Now, that's not very nice. We've worked together for two months…I think I've proven I can make a very good friend."

"A supposition I would have agreed with until three days ago when you caused everyone including our Unit Chief to doubt my very credible abilities," JJ said snidely. "Now, I consider you the enemy and I don't spend a lot of time chatting up my enemies, so, if you'll excuse me…," she railed, propelling the cart forward.

Stepping in front of her, David placed both hands on the end of the cart. "I'm not your enemy, Little Girl. The sooner you learn that the better. What have you got in here anyway?" he said, glancing down.

Picking up the bottle of Absolut vodka, he held it up. "Drinking you sorrows away?"

"No, I find that you've driven me to drink, Rossi," she snapped back.

"Vodka of all things. You want the buzz but not the aftereffects. Wise choice. I usually go with scotch, myself," he told her conversationally.

"I don't care," she said, biting out each word.

"Touchy, touchy," he said, putting the vodka back down.

"Chunky Monkey ice cream? Are we having a pity party for ourselves tonight, Agent Jareau?" Rossi asked with a twinkle in his chocolate eyes.

"I need the calcium and I hate milk," JJ said impatiently.

"The chocolate, caramel and nuts in it are just an extra little bonus, huh?" Dave said replacing the ice cream. "Generally people think of ice cream as a form of comfort food. Do you need comfort, Blue Eyes."

"Not from someone like you," JJ retorted.

"That stings," David said, dramatically clutching his chest before peering into her cart again.

Pulling out the calcium fortified orange juice she'd added to her selections, David murmured, "And now, I know your drink of choice. Screwdrivers."

"Again, I need the calcium…I hate milk," JJ muttered. "Would you please move?" she asked shoving the cart a little.

But, David Rossi was immovable. "In a minute," he replied, pulling out the pantyhose she'd thrown in a few moments ago. "Size A," he noted. "You really are a tiny little woman, aren't you?"

"Yes and evidently helpless, if your reaction to me going into our case as a decoy is any indication," she popped back.

"And sheer. You like the natural look," David continued, looking at the pantyhose.

"They're the most comfortable," JJ said absently. "Are you done examining my undergarments?" JJ asked, irritated.

"Not by a long shot, sweetness," he said, tossing the pantyhose back into her cart.

Leaning over he picked up the seedless grapes and organic bananas she'd tossed in when she'd walked through the produce aisle. "Trying to balance the ice cream out with fruit, JJ?"

"Jennifer. And, no, I happen to like fruit." she replied tartly.

Yes, but grapes are a decadent fruit. Meant to be fed to someone. A much more satisfying way to eat them, I assure you," he said in a low husky voice.

"You'd know, too, wouldn't you? You've been fed by half the female population from what I've heard," she snapped.

"Rumors that have been wildly exaggerated, I promise you," he responded with a wink.

"Yeah, right," she snorted.

"And bananas, now those bear a striking resemblance to…" Rossi began wickedly.

"You finish that thought and your mouth is going to come up close and personal with my dishwashing liquid, Agent Rossi," Jennifer warned, reaching for the Palmolive.

"Now don't be a prude, JJ…a woman can have needs," Rossi told her suggestively.

"Yes, I NEED to keep from committing a murder in the middle of the cleaning supply aisle of this grocery store."

Laughing, Rossi dropped the fruit back into the cart. "Hmmm, what else have we got here in your little cart of tricks?"

Pulling out the scented candle she had most recently added to her cart, David removed the lid and sniffed. "Ah, just what I expected. Vanilla. A nice calming, gentle scent," he nodded knowingly.

"Yes, I wonder if I have a lighter in my purse…I find myself needing to smell it now!" she said, snatching the item away from him.

"Now, honey, we're just having a nice little chat here," David chided.

"Nice for who, exactly?" JJ asked scathingly, studiously ignoring his smoldering gaze as it fixated on her.

"I'm having a very good time here, JJ," he said, smiling slowly and lowering his gaze back inside her cart.

"Ah…and the woman's bible, or so I'm told. Cosmo," he said, holding up the magazine that was her guilty pleasure. "Hmmmm….101 Ways to Please Your Man in Bed," he read. "Anybody in mind you'd like to practice with, JJ?" he asked wickedly.

Snatching the magazine from his fingertips, she tossed it back into the cart. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she said prissily.

"I would," he said, nodding gravely. "I always like to be aware of the competition."

"Competition?" she asked blankly.

Pulling another item out of the cart, David grinned wickedly and asked holding up the lavender bottle, "Planning a bubble bath, JJ?"

"Why, yes, Agent Rossi, I fully intend to soak the effects of this conversation away when I get home!" JJ sneered.

"Mmmm," he hummed, looking back into her cart and pulling out the last item. "Advil. Now, this purchase indicates you're in some kind of pain," he said easily. "What hurts, angel?"

"My head. I find having this little tete-a-tete with you has given me a massive headache," she said sweetly.

"Oh, honey, don't you know there are much better ways of curing a headache?" David asked softly, taking a step around the cart toward her.

"Oh, really?" JJ said, placing a hand on her cart and one on her cocked hip.

"Mmm Hmmm," he said, now speaking directly into her ear, "and it's a mutually satisfying cure."

As JJ opened her mouth to respond, she heard an old cracking voice from behind her say, "I've tried the cure he's referring to, dear. Trust me, honey, it works," a very elderly woman laughed as she steered her cart around them.

"See," David murmured, "My cure comes highly recommended."

"Personally," JJ said, leaning toward the handsome man at her side, "I've tried your cure before and it never really did anything for me."

"Oh, honey, I assure you that your experience with my cure has been painfully lacking. And, I hate to see anyone in pain, Blue Eyes. Especially you." David murmured, placing his hand over hers where it rested on the cart.

"What do you mean by "especially me"?" JJ asked warily.

"You want to know the reason I put a stop to you acting like a decoy in Colorado?" David asked, taking another step closer to her.

"You means besides the fact that in your eyes I'm a very pretty ornament for the BAU, but not really qualified for much else," she said brightly.

"That's crap and you know it," he said roughly, tightening his hand on hers. "I put a stop to it because the idea of using someone that, contrary to my efforts has developed a very firm place in my heart, as a decoy to trap a sadistic murderer just didn't sit well with me. So I killed the idea. I'm sorry it angered you to this point, but the idea of you in that bastard's hands was just too much. There! You satisfied?"

"Nope…you should have had faith in my abilities. I've had the same training as you have," JJ said, attempting to move the cart.

"Did you miss the part about the developing feelings for you on purpose, Blue Eyes?" David asked with twinkling eyes.

"Nope, still processing that. Move now, please. I feel a nervous breakdown coming on and I really don't want to have it in the middle of Aisle 17," JJ said sharply.

"Now which part of my statements make you feel as if you are in danger of losing that stunning mind of yours?" Rossi asked.

"Well, gee, hmmm, I don't know. Maybe the part where the great David Rossi tells me he has feelings for me of a personal nature on Aisle 17 of the freaking local Kroger! I think that would do it to any intelligent woman!" JJ yelled, drawing stares from some of the other customers.

"Not just any woman, JJ. YOU." he said, leaning forward to whisper the last word in her ear.

Smacking him on the shoulder, she snapped, "Stop that! You're confusing me." Looking around and seeing that they were drawing attention, JJ hissed, "You're insane! Did this case fry your brain? You do NOT tell a woman in the middle of the grocery store that you have feelings for her! It just isn't done! You're crazy!"

"Tell me where you'd like me to say the words then, JJ, and I'll be there! And what is crazy about the fact that I wanted to protect the woman I care about…to want to have more than a coldly professional relationship with you?" he asked belligerently.

"We aren't discussing this here, Rossi," JJ whispered, looking nervously around. "It's seven o'clock on a Friday night in the middle of a grocery store. My life isn't the same as yours is! My idea of big fun tonight was going to be a bubble bath and some Chunky Monkey," she said, snatching up the ice cream and waving it in front of his face.

"Fine," he said patiently. "Give me a chance to change your mind. As you said, it's only seven…that's plenty of time to find a good restaurant, sit down and have a nice meal. Then, if you still want that bubble bath, I'll make sure you get it. I'll draw the water up for you myself," he offered.

"You're asking me out on a date? Now? Here? In the middle of the freaking grocery store," she asked, with widening eyes.

"I'm asking for a chance, JJ," David said quietly.

"A chance?" she asked blankly.

"Yep, a chance," he nodded.

Blinking slowly, JJ tried to clear her mind…she counted to ten…then twenty…she finally spoke when she reached a hundred. "Okay, Dave, one chance. One night. Let's see if you can convince me if you're something other than the pompous, arrogant, know-it-all jerk you've acted like for the past three days. Good luck with that," she smiled.

"I love a good challenge," he grinned.

"Oh, and by the way, you're buying my groceries," she said smartly over her shoulder, walking ahead of him down the aisle.

Watching her walk down the aisle, David breathed a sigh of relief. Damn, but he adored that feisty minx.

***~***

Four months later, JJ finally got her bubble bath. In her clawfoot tub. With her vanilla scented candle. And her issue of Cosmo. With her Chunky Monkey ice cream. Being spoon fed to her by no other than the legendary David Rossi.

**_The End_**


End file.
